Lee Govatos Slightly Off-Kilter Since 1972.


(I'm pulling all the quotes from my old posts and putting them here. New additions will be added to the top.)

"Everything she says," Maybelle's eyes went into her coffee, another trust broken, "has a pin in it. Even the nice things."
Chip Kidd, The Cheese Monkeys

After ninety-six hours, it's not a pencil anymore, it's a yellow pointypointy that makes marks for you when you give it brain signals and frankly it's bored and wants a life of its own. Can you blame it? Of course you can. Someone made it. How did they get the hard blackyblack in there? Was it Space Beings? The pointypointy drops yellow to the floor. The floor is fifty feet down. You'll drown if you go after it. No more pointypointy. A pen, yes, get a pen. Yes. It would feel clean and good in your hand, if your fingers weren't numb. No blackyblack in it. Bluesygoo.
Chip Kidd, The Cheese Monkeys

There's no such thing as free kittens.
Brian P. Cleary, 45, Cleveland, Ohio

On the first day of class, the Visual Arts building reclined before me like an old brick whore, egging me on to show her one, last, good time. I doubted I was up to the task, but regardless, I entered it from the rear, just to give myself the slightest mental edge.
Chip Kidd, The Cheese Monkeys

Luck is probability taken personally.

All bands ply the quiet-to-loud dynamics these days, copying what Kurt Cobain copied from The Pixies.
Scott Frampton, "The One Band You Must See Next Year"

I couldn't stand it. Every time I shot at someone, it was a mistake. Every time I blew something up, some kid's head blew off. It was always a mother and a child, and those sumbitches are gone, you know?
Soldier Y, interviewed by Kenneth Cain in "The War Comes Home," a study of the current lack of PTSD treatment for soldiers returning from Iraq

He tells her about the dead-eyed cellmate who, when arrested in a nightclub, had a beer in one hand and a sack stuffed with a woman's head in the other.
Andrew Corsello, "The Wronged Man," about Calvin Willis, a man who spent 22 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit

God damn it, the movie better be the greatest movie ever made. If it's not, I'm gonna kill Anderson. He's a dead man. If it's not the greatest movie ever made, or in the top ten, he may as well just move to China and change his name to Chin, and he better get himself a small room in a small town - and even then, I'll hunt him down.
Bill Murray, on The Life Aquatic

I'm gettin' on the ferry at Martha's Vineyard, and some guy yells out from across the way, 'Bill, what'd ya say to her?' Everyone hears him ask, and I pause for a second with my mouth open and begin to speak. As I start to speak, the foghorn sounds, about a twenty-five second blast, and I just, I acted it out like I was saying something really sincere, and the crowd laughed so hard. It was great. I couldn't have bought that moment.
Bill Murray, telling an anecdote relating to his refusal to tell anyone what he whispered to Scarlett Johansson at the end of Lost in Translation

Katherine had retreated into a compact ball on the other side of the bed. I worried that she'd staked out this far margin to escape my snoring. This was a small concern, but a concern nonetheless, and I was happy for the chance to worry about such a thing before moving on to larger worries like how and why I'd managed to sleep with my girlfriend's best friend.
Benjamin Alsup, "Happy?"

When we hugged, I smelled the familiar combination of recent smoke and more recent chewing gum, and I wanted to climb inside him, wanted a place in the pocket of his jacket, snug between his wallet and his secret pack of Camels.
Benjamin Alsup, "Happy?"

Cute chicks in ugly cars are cool.
Joe Hernandez-Kolski

One of the reasons I became an actor was that I'd heard you could meet queers in the British theatre. And it's true. Thank goodness.
Sir Ian McKellen

Bar staff complaining that passive smoking poses a health risk to them. So your job is to cajole people to buy tasty poison, break up fights, get bottled, mop up spew, breathe in old mens' aspirated diseases as they bellow for more beer over the counter, deal with a dozen different kinds of physical assault -- and it's passive smoking that's a threat to your health? You don't need new laws -- you need new jobs. (No, this has nothing to do with the web. Shut up.)
Warren Ellis, on things he hates about the web

I Don't. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the water. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. Otters.
Christopher Walken

And when people refer to something "smelling like sex," they are most likely responding to the classic combination of sweat, semen, vaginal fluid, strawberry wine, Lysol, an sometimes, if you're very lucky, a little hope.
Stacy Grenrock Woods

McMahon wondered if he should follow the crabs out to sea. He took a deep breath. He started talking to himself. "I gotta get outta here," he said. "Crabs are talking to me. When a crab talks, it's time to go home."
Robert Kurson, Shadow Divers

Roy's God was a girl, about twelve years old, slim and lazy with lit, dewy eyes and sharp little teeth. She could be generous and fond one minute and casually vicious the next.
Molly Giles, "Two Words," from The Missouri Review, 2003

Violence is fun, man.
Quentin Tarantino

My favorite band ever was Slayer. Those guys were some of the most charming and delightful people I’ve ever met.
Judy Negley, Co-Owner of Independent Records and Video, Colorado Springs, CO

The humane society showing up for Ozzy Osbourne, that was fabulous. We had these caged doves by where he was going to be signing, and they had these little signs on them that said, “Oh No, Ozzy”s Coming!” The humane society showed up with their trucks and stayed there the whole time.
Judy Negley, Co-Owner of Independent Records and Video, Colorado Springs, CO

Why can’t rock music be about growing old?
Roger Daltrey of the Who, who once sang “Hope I die before I get old”

Britney was absolutely devastated when I told her.
Taryn Manning, on telling Britney Spears that the Japanese symbols tattooed on her hipbone were meaningless gibberish

Prince smiles and holds his hands out in front of him, as if weighing an object in each. “Let’s see,” he says, “sleep, or a half a million dollars? Sleep, or a half a million dollars?”
Anthony DeCurtis, on asking Prince why he booked a tour with so few days off

My relationship with my toaster is delicious, but completely one-sided.
Chuck Klosterman, "Toast in the Machine," from Esquire, 2004

Normal is a cycle on a washing machine.
Emmylou Harris

Don’t worry about suffering. It will happen. Just stand on the tracks long enough and the train will run you right down.
Pete Seeger

Senator Joe Lieberman wrote some kind of letter to us. I corrected the spelling and sent it back.
Johnny Knoxville, when asked if politicians ever gave him a hard time.

We didn’t send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
Kent York, Baptist Minister, to U.S. Representative Bill Sarpalius

My favorite one, that fits me perfectly, is an Offspring shirt. It’s a vintage t-shirt I picked up on Melrose. It was, like, fifty dollars.
Avril Lavigne, on her favorite t-shirt, making me feel really old

Loneliness: There is no organ that can take it all.
Nicole Krauss, “The Last Words on Earth,” from The New Yorker, February 9th, 2004

I may be a fool but I’m not desperate. I thanked her very much for the offer, but said that I was going to have to have to turn it down since I was already scheduled to sit on my thumb and rotate in accordance with the movements of the earth around the sun. She was disappointed.
Nicole Krauss, “The Last Words on Earth,” from The New Yorker, February 9th, 2004

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke, not Bobby Kennedy

I was a professional smoker, and I still miss it. I know she was trying to kill me, but I really loved the bitch.
Brad Pitt

He was only relevant by accident.
Morrissey, on David Bowie, explaining why I’ve never been a fan of Morrissey

More seldom than not, the movies gives us exquisite sex and wholesome violence, that underscores our values. Every two child did. I will.
President George W. Bush

It’s like the IRA on speed.
Colleague of Molly Bingham, on the developing resistance forces in Iraq

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